Unit 4 — Feelings and Emotions

Likes, Dislikes and Preferences

Likes, Dislikes and Preferences

1. Expressing likes

| Structure | Example | | :--- | :--- | | like / love / enjoy + -ing | I enjoy reading novels. | | like / love + to + stem | I like to walk in the morning. | | be fond of + -ing | She is fond of travelling. | | be keen on + -ing | He is keen on playing chess. | | be interested in + -ing | They are interested in learning languages. |

Note that enjoy is always followed by the -ing form, never by the infinitive: *I enjoy reading*, not *I enjoy to read*.

2. Expressing dislikes

• I **dislike** waiting.
• I **hate** being late.
• I **can't stand** noise.
• I **can't bear** injustice.
• I'm **not keen on** horror films.
• Waiting **gets on my nerves**.

3. Expressing preference

| Structure | Example | | :--- | :--- | | prefer + -ing + to + -ing | I prefer reading to watching television. | | prefer + to + stem + rather than + stem | I prefer to read rather than watch television. | | would rather + stem | I would rather stay at home. | | would rather + stem + than + stem | I would rather walk than take the bus. | | would prefer + to + stem | I would prefer to leave now. |

Two traps the exam looks for:

• after **would rather** the verb has **no "to"**: *I would rather stay*, not *I would rather to stay*;
• **prefer A to B** uses *to*, while **would rather A than B** uses *than*.

4. Reciprocal pronouns

They appear in this unit because feelings are usually shared.

• **each other** — normally for two people: *The two brothers help **each other**.*
• **one another** — normally for more than two: *The members of the team encourage **one another**.*

Do not confuse them with reflexive pronouns: *They looked at themselves* means each one looked in a mirror; *They looked at each other* means one looked at the other.

5. Agreeing and disagreeing

• **So do I.** / **Neither do I.** — *I like this song.* → *So do I.*
• **I do too.** / **I don't either.**
• I **agree with** you.
• I'm **afraid I disagree**.
• That's true, **but**…

6. Check yourself

• Correct: *I enjoy to listen to music.*
• Complete: *I would rather ______ (stay) at home than ______ (go) out.*
• Choose: *The two friends wrote to (each other / themselves) every week.*

Giving Advice: The Letter of Advice

Giving Advice: The Letter of Advice

1. The situation

An agony aunt is a person who answers, in a newspaper or a magazine, the letters of readers who describe a personal problem. The exam asks you to write the reply: a letter of advice.

2. The language of advice

| Structure | Example | | :--- | :--- | | should / shouldn't + stem | You should talk to your parents. | | ought to + stem | You ought to apologise. | | had better + stem | You had better tell the truth now. | | If I were you, I would… | If I were you, I would speak to your teacher. | | Why don't you + stem? | Why don't you join a club? | | What about / How about + -ing? | What about taking a short break? | | It would be better to + stem | It would be better to wait a few days. | | I advise you to + stem | I advise you to be patient. |

Note the two forms without "to": *You had better go*, and *If I were you, I would go*.

Note also that had better is stronger than should: it suggests that something bad will happen otherwise.

3. The structure of the letter

• **Greeting**: *Dear Sarah,*
• **Showing that you understood**: *I was sorry to read about your problem. I can understand how difficult this situation must be.*
• **The advice**, two or three pieces, each with a reason: *First of all, you should… because…*
• **Encouragement**: *Do not lose hope. Things will get better.*
• **Closing**: *Yours sincerely,* and your name.

4. A model reply

> Dear Amina, > > I was sorry to read that you feel anxious before every exam. Many students share this problem, so you are not alone. > > First of all, you should organise your revision over several weeks rather than the last two nights. Anxiety grows when we feel unprepared. Secondly, why don't you sleep at least seven hours before the exam? A tired mind forgets what a rested mind remembers. Finally, if I were you, I would talk to your teacher; explaining the difficulty often makes it smaller. > > Do not be too hard on yourself. Feeling a little nervous is normal, and it even helps concentration. > > Yours sincerely, > Nadia

5. Reporting advice

The exam often asks you to report the advice you have just given.

• "You should revise regularly," she said. → She **advised** him **to revise** regularly.
• "Don't panic," she said. → She **told** him **not to panic**.
• "Why don't you sleep more?" she said. → She **suggested that he should sleep** more. / She **suggested sleeping** more.

6. Check yourself

• Give four different ways of advising somebody to stop smoking.
• Why is *had better* stronger than *should*?
• Report: *"Talk to your parents," the teacher said to Karim.*

Humour and the Keys to Happiness

Humour and the Keys to Happiness

1. Humour

Humour is the quality of being amusing, and the ability to see what is funny in a situation. A person who has it is said to have a sense of humour.

What humour does:

• it **reduces stress** and lowers tension in a difficult moment;
• it **creates a link** between people who laugh at the same thing;
• it allows a criticism to be made **without aggression**;
• it helps the body: laughter relaxes muscles and improves breathing.

Its limits: humour that mocks a person rather than a situation wounds instead of relieving. The difference between laughing with somebody and laughing at somebody is the whole difference.

2. Words around laughter

| Word | Use | | :--- | :--- | | to laugh | The general word. | | to smile | Without sound. | | to giggle | To laugh in a nervous, childish way. | | to burst out laughing | To begin suddenly and loudly. | | a joke | A short story told to make people laugh. | | witty | Clever and amusing. | | ridiculous | So absurd that it invites laughter. |

3. The keys to happiness

The texts of this unit usually list the same conditions.

• **Good relationships**: family and friends matter more than income.
• **Health**: sleep, exercise and a reasonable diet.
• **A purpose**: work or study that has a meaning for you.
• **Gratitude**: noticing what one has instead of counting what one lacks.
• **Generosity**: helping others raises the mood of the helper.
• **Accepting emotions**: sadness and anger are part of a normal life.

The recurring idea in these texts: beyond a certain level, more money does not bring more happiness. What changes is the comparison with others, not the life itself.

4. The grammar attached to the unit

Articles

• **a / an**: one thing among others, mentioned for the first time. *She told **a** joke.*
• **the**: a thing already known or unique. *I liked **the** joke you told yesterday.*
• **no article**: general and uncountable. *— Happiness cannot be bought.*

Obligation, prohibition and advice

• You **must** respect other people's feelings. *(obligation)*
• You **mustn't** laugh at somebody's accent. *(prohibition)*
• You **don't have to** laugh if you do not find it funny. *(absence of obligation)*
• You **should** take a break when you feel stressed. *(advice)*

Do not confuse mustn't (it is forbidden) with don't have to (it is not necessary).

5. Check yourself

• Give three effects of humour on a person under stress.
• Explain the difference between laughing *with* somebody and laughing *at* somebody.
• Choose: *You (mustn't / don't have to) come if you are tired — it is optional.*

Friendship, Love and Generosity

What makes a true friend?

A friend is a person we choose, unlike our relatives, and with whom we share trust, time and affection. Not everybody we know is a friend:

• an **acquaintance** is someone we know a little: a neighbour, a classmate we greet;
• a **friend** is someone we like and spend time with;
• a **close friend** (or **best friend**) is someone we trust completely and confide in.

| Quality | What it looks like | | :--- | :--- | | Loyalty | A loyal friend defends you when you are absent and never betrays your secrets. | | Trust | You can tell a trustworthy friend anything. | | Honesty | A true friend tells you the truth, even when it is unpleasant. | | Support | A supportive friend helps you in difficult moments. | | Respect | A friend accepts your opinions and your differences. | | Forgiveness | Friends forgive each other's mistakes instead of keeping a grudge. |

The proverb sums it up: *A friend in need is a friend indeed*, which means that a true friend is the one who stays and helps when you are in difficulty.

Love in its many forms

The word love covers several feelings:

• the **love of parents** for their children, often called **unconditional**, because it does not depend on what the child does;
• the love between **brothers and sisters**, and within the wider family;
• the affection between **friends**;
• the love of one's country, called **patriotism**;
• the love of other human beings in general, which shows itself as **compassion** and **kindness**.

Generosity and selfishness

Generosity is the readiness to give to others: money, of course, but also time, attention, help and forgiveness. A volunteer who spends Saturday morning teaching younger pupils is generous without spending any money.

Its opposite is selfishness: thinking only of oneself and one's own advantage.

| Positive | Negative | | :--- | :--- | | generous | selfish, mean | | loyal | disloyal | | trustworthy | untrustworthy | | caring | indifferent | | grateful | ungrateful | | tolerant | intolerant |

Listening task: a short lecture on friendship (written for this lesson)

> Good morning. Today I would like to talk about friendship, one of the oldest human relationships. First, let us define it. A friend is a person we choose, unlike our relatives, and with whom we share trust, time and affection. Second, friendship develops in stages: we meet as acquaintances, we discover common interests, and slowly we begin to confide in each other. Third, friendship has clear benefits: friends support us in difficult moments, they help us know ourselves better, and they make our successes more enjoyable. However, friendship needs care. Most friendships do not end because of one big quarrel; they fade slowly because friends stop making time for each other. Finally, let me leave you with a piece of advice: be the friend you would like to have.

Task: put the notes in the order of the lecture.

• a. benefits: support, self-knowledge, shared joy
• b. definition: a person we choose; trust, time, affection
• c. advice: be the friend you would like to have
• d. stages: acquaintance → common interests → confiding
• e. danger: friendships fade when friends stop making time

Key: b, d, a, e, c. The signposts *first, second, third, however, finally* give the order.

Check yourself

• What is the difference between an acquaintance and a close friend?
• Name three forms of love.
• Give two ways of being generous without spending money.

Why Emotions Matter: Emotional Intelligence

Emotions carry information

Emotions are not a weakness; they are messages that help us act.

| Emotion | What it tells us | What it pushes us to do | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | Fear | There may be a danger. | Be careful, protect ourselves. | | Anger | Something seems unfair. | Defend our rights, set limits. | | Sadness | We have lost something that mattered. | Slow down, ask for comfort. | | Joy | Something is good for us. | Repeat it, share it. | | Guilt | We have hurt someone. | Apologise, repair the damage. |

Emotions and the development of the individual

From childhood to adulthood, learning to live with our emotions is part of growing up.

• A small child learns to **name** what he feels: *I am sad, I am scared.*
• A teenager learns to **control** strong feelings and to understand other people's.
• An adult learns to **use** emotions to take decisions and build relationships.

A person who hides every feeling may end up stressed or isolated, while a person who cannot control his feelings hurts others and himself. The goal is balance: feeling, understanding, then choosing how to act.

Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand and manage our own emotions, and to recognise and respond to the emotions of others. It is usually described with five skills:

| Skill | Meaning | Example | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | Self-awareness | Knowing what you feel and why. | *I am irritable because I slept badly.* | | Self-control | Managing your reactions. | Waiting before answering an insult. | | Motivation | Keeping going towards a goal. | Revising even after a bad mark. | | Empathy | Understanding what others feel. | Noticing that a friend is worried. | | Social skills | Getting on well with others. | Solving a quarrel by talking. |

Empathy and sympathy are close but different. Sympathy means feeling sorry *for* someone; empathy means feeling *with* someone, putting yourself in their place.

Words with self-

Many words of the unit are formed with self- and a hyphen: self- + noun or self- + adjective. They describe how we see and treat ourselves.

| Noun | Adjective | Meaning | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | self-confidence | self-confident | trust in your own abilities | | self-esteem | — | a good opinion of your own value | | self-control | self-controlled | the ability to manage your reactions | | self-respect | — | respect for yourself and your dignity | | self-discipline | self-disciplined | making yourself do what is necessary | | — | self-conscious | shy, uncomfortable because others are looking at you | | — | self-centred | thinking only of yourself (negative) |

Managing emotions: practical tips

• Name the feeling instead of acting at once.
• Breathe slowly and count to ten before answering.
• Talk to someone you trust, or write your thoughts in a diary.
• Practise a sport: physical activity reduces tension.
• Sleep enough: a tired person reacts more strongly.

Check yourself

• What is the message of fear? of anger?
• Give the five skills of emotional intelligence.
• What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?

Feelings Across Cultures

Universal emotions, different rules

Many researchers agree that some basic emotions, such as joy, sadness, fear, anger and surprise, are felt by people everywhere and are easy to recognise on a face. What changes from one society to another is not the feeling itself but the rules for showing it: when, where, to whom and how strongly. These unwritten rules are sometimes called display rules.

Comparing behaviours and attitudes

| Situation | In some societies… | In others… | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | Greeting a friend | People hug or kiss on the cheeks. | People shake hands or simply nod. | | Greeting an elder | People lower their eyes as a sign of respect. | Looking someone in the eye is a sign of honesty. | | Showing anger | Raising one's voice is accepted in a discussion. | Staying calm in public is expected; anger is shown in private. | | Crying | Tears at a funeral or a wedding are normal for men and women. | Men are expected to hide their tears. | | Affection in public | Holding hands or hugging in the street is common. | Affection is kept for the home. | | Personal space | People stand close when they talk. | People keep a distance of about one arm. |

Some greetings are clearly linked to a country: in Japan, for example, people traditionally greet each other with a bow. In Algeria, as in many Arab societies, family visits during religious feasts are a moment to show affection openly to relatives and neighbours.

The same gesture can therefore be polite in one place and rude in another. Knowing this helps us avoid misunderstandings when we travel, study abroad or meet visitors.

Avoiding stereotypes

A stereotype is a fixed and simplified idea about a whole group of people: *"They are all cold," "They are all noisy."* Stereotypes are dangerous because:

• they hide the differences between **individuals**: in every society some people are shy and others outgoing;
• they lead to **prejudice** and sometimes to discrimination;
• they stop us from **learning** about others.

When you compare cultures, speak about tendencies (*many people, often, in general*), not about all the members of a group.

Language for comparing

| To show a difference | To show a similarity | | :--- | :--- | | *whereas / while*: People hug in some countries, whereas they bow in others. | *like*: Like Algerians, many Mediterranean people greet friends warmly. | | *unlike*: Unlike my father, my mother shows her feelings openly. | *similarly / likewise*: Families celebrate feasts together. Similarly, they gather for weddings. | | *in contrast / however*: Some people cry in public. In contrast, others hide their tears. | *both … and*: Both cultures and generations value respect. | | *more / less … than*: Young people are more open than their grandparents. | *as … as / the same as*: Joy is as strong in one culture as in another. |

A model comparison paragraph

> In my family, my grandfather and my younger sister express their feelings very differently. My grandfather rarely shows his emotions in public; he believes that a man should stay calm whatever happens. My sister, in contrast, laughs loudly, cries easily and hugs everybody. Unlike my grandfather, she thinks that hiding feelings is unhealthy. However, both of them love the family deeply; they simply show it in different ways.

Kinds of Humour and an Interview with a Humourist

Kinds of humour

Humour takes many forms. Knowing their names helps you understand texts and describe what makes people laugh.

| Kind | What it is | Example | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | A joke | A short story with a funny ending. | A story ending with an unexpected answer. | | A pun | A play on two meanings of the same word. | *I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.* | | Irony | Saying the opposite of what you mean, often gently. | *"What lovely weather!"* during a storm. | | Sarcasm | Irony used to mock or hurt someone. | *"Well done, genius!"* to someone who made a mistake. | | Satire | Making people in power or the faults of society look ridiculous in order to criticise them. | A cartoon showing a minister asleep on a pile of promises. | | Slapstick | Physical comedy: falls, slips, chases. | A man slipping on a banana skin. | | Self-deprecating humour | Laughing at yourself. | *"I am so bad at football that the ball avoids me."* | | An anecdote | A short, often funny, true story from one's life. | What happened to you on your first day at school. |

Useful adjectives: funny, amusing, hilarious (extremely funny), witty (clever and funny), ironic, sarcastic, humorous. A person who makes others laugh professionally is a humourist or a comedian.

When humour unites and when it hurts

Humour unites when everybody laughs at a situation, including the person who tells the joke. It hurts when it targets someone who cannot defend himself: a person's illness, origin, appearance or poverty. Sarcasm in particular can wound, because the listener feels mocked rather than amused. Before telling a joke, ask yourself: *Would the person concerned laugh too?*

Reading task: an interview with a humourist (an imaginary interview written for this lesson)

> Journalist: How did you start making people laugh? > Samir: At school. I used to imitate our teachers during the breaks. One of them caught me, and instead of punishing me, she asked me to join the theatre club. > > Journalist: Where do you find your ideas? > Samir: Mostly in ordinary family life: my mother's advice, my little brother's questions, weddings, the queue at the post office. People laugh when they recognise themselves. > > Journalist: Is there anything you never joke about? > Samir: I never laugh at someone's illness, origin or poverty. A good joke never makes the audience laugh at a weak person. I prefer to laugh at myself; it is safer and often funnier. > > Journalist: How do you know that a joke is good? > Samir: I tell it to my family at dinner first. If my grandmother laughs, I keep it. If she doesn't, the joke goes in the bin. > > Journalist: What is humour for you? > Samir: A way of telling the truth without hurting. When people laugh together, they become a little more of a family.

Task: order these statements as they occur in the interview.

• a. He tests his jokes on his family.
• b. He refuses to mock people who are weak.
• c. A teacher sent him to the theatre club.
• d. Humour brings people closer together.
• e. His ideas come from everyday family life.

Key: c, e, b, a, d.

Writing: A Newspaper Article and a Speech for Fair Play

A. A newspaper article about feelings and emotions

A newspaper article reports a real event to readers who were not there. In this unit the event is usually linked to feelings: a family reunion, a charity day, a sports victory, a gesture of kindness.

| Part | Role | Tips | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | Headline | Catches the reader's attention. | Short, no articles, present simple even for a past event: *Pupils Bring Laughter to Hospital*. | | Lead | Gives the essential facts. | Answer who, what, where, when (and sometimes why) in one or two sentences. | | Body | Gives details and reactions. | Facts in the past simple; reactions of people in direct or reported speech; feelings described with precise adjectives. | | Ending | Closes the article. | A final reaction, a result, or what will happen next. |

The article is written in the third person; the journalist reports the feelings of the people involved rather than his own.

A model article (an imaginary event written for this lesson)

> Pupils Bring Laughter to Children's Ward > > Twenty pupils from a secondary school in our town spent last Thursday afternoon at the children's ward of the local hospital, where they performed short sketches and gave books and games to young patients. > > The visit was organised by the school's theatre club after a pupil whose little brother had been in hospital suggested the idea. For two hours, the corridors were filled with laughter. "I had not seen my son smile like that for weeks," said the mother of a seven-year-old boy, visibly moved. > > The pupils themselves were touched. One of them explained that she had been nervous before the show but felt proud and grateful afterwards. The nurses thanked the club and invited them to come back. > > The pupils have already decided to repeat the visit every term.

B. A speech to promote fair play, tolerance and respect

This is the integration task suggested for the unit. A speech is spoken to an audience, so it uses direct address, rhetorical questions, we / let us and a clear call to action.

Plan

• Greet the audience and state the occasion.
• Ask a question to catch attention.
• Define the three values.
• Give an example from sport or school life.
• Call the audience to act, then thank them.

> Dear friends, dear teachers, > > Have you ever won a match and felt that you did not deserve it? Victory has no taste when it is obtained by cheating. Fair play means respecting the rules, the referee and our opponents. Tolerance means accepting people whose opinions and habits are different from ours. Respect means treating everyone with dignity, on the sports ground and in the classroom. Let us shake hands after every match, whatever the result, and let us never insult someone because he is different. Thank you.

C. Re-ordering paragraphs of a public statement

To put jumbled paragraphs in order, look for: the greeting and the purpose (always first), sequence words (first, moreover, finally), reference words (this, these values, such behaviour) that point back to an earlier idea, and the call to action (always last).

• A. *First, tolerance means accepting that others may think, dress or speak differently.*
• B. *Dear fellow students, the student council wishes to share its concern about the growing number of insults and quarrels in our school.*
• C. *Let us therefore make our school a place where everyone feels safe and respected. Thank you.*
• D. *Moreover, fair play in sport and in class means winning without cheating and losing without anger.*

Key: B, A, D, C.

Key Vocabulary and Useful Expressions

Key Vocabulary and Useful Expressions

1. Core vocabulary

| English | Arabic | | :--- | :--- | | feeling | شعور | | emotion | عاطفة | | mood | مزاج | | happiness | السعادة | | sadness | الحزن | | anger | الغضب | | fear | الخوف | | anxiety | القلق | | pride | الفخر | | shame | الخجل | | gratitude | الامتنان | | loneliness | الوحدة | | humour | الفكاهة | | laughter | الضحك | | grief | الأسى | | sympathy | التعاطف |

2. Adjectives derived from nouns

| Noun | Adjective | | :--- | :--- | | anger | angry | | fear | fearful | | hope | hopeful / hopeless | | joy | joyful | | care | careful / careless | | peace | peaceful | | success | successful | | danger | dangerous | | courage | courageous | | anxiety | anxious |

Note the pair -ful / -less: *hopeful* and *hopeless*, *careful* and *careless*, *useful* and *useless*.

3. Verbs formed from adjectives

| Adjective | Verb | | :--- | :--- | | strong | to strengthen | | weak | to weaken | | wide | to widen | | deep | to deepen | | short | to shorten | | simple | to simplify | | pure | to purify | | modern | to modernise |

4. Nouns formed from adjectives

*happy → happiness*, *sad → sadness*, *kind → kindness*, *able → ability*, *responsible → responsibility*, *anxious → anxiety*, *proud → pride*.

5. Expressions for the written part

Describing a feeling

• She was **overwhelmed with** joy.
• He **burst into** tears.
• I **felt a lump in my throat**.
• They were **on top of the world**.

Sympathising

• I'm **so sorry to hear** that.
• I can **imagine how you feel**.
• **Cheer up**, things will get better.

Explaining a cause

• Her anxiety was **caused by** the pressure of the exam.
• He was disappointed **because of** the result.
• **Owing to** the good news, the whole family celebrated.

6. Check yourself

• Give the adjective formed from *anger*, *courage* and *anxiety*.
• Give the verb formed from *strong*, *simple* and *short*.
• Complete the pair: *careful / ______*, *hopeful / ______*.